Majorca 2007

As the years have moved on the Lune Majorcan villas have become more luxurious whilst inversely the numbers enjoying them have dwindled. Thus it was just the 3 amigos Rob, Paolo and Gary who arrived approaching midnight on Wednesday the 4th of April and took their respective picks of the best of the 4 bedrooms and bathrooms. With Paolo being the elder statesman it was he that was ensconced in the master en-suite bedroom with its subtle red lighting and vanity mirror with fellow veteran Rob taking the other double. Youngster Gary had to make do with the upstairs twin plus a share of a bathroom with the not yet housetrained Tinner. After checking out the available channels on the Sky TV it was off to bed ready for the first ride of the week.

Thursday – Esporles and the Coast Road (3.5 hours)

It was a warm sunny morning as the Lunies visited the supermarket, breakfasted and assembled their bikes. By midday the clouds had rolled in and as they set off there was a dampness in the air which quickly turned to rain after the first small climb. Tinner had the good sense to suggest that capes were taken but not the skill to put his on whilst riding. As the heavens opened a route change was made towards the coast instead of inland thus the planned flattish ride turned into a Milan-San Remo style epic along a windswept coastal road. With mist rolling in from the sea the greasy descents were taken carefully as Tinner tested his legs with a few accelerations, which saw Paolo, begin to struggle.

Once off the coast road the rain stopped as the riders headed inland towards Es Capdella along a signposted cycle route. Over the top of another short climb Paolo took a left handed hairpin bend too eagerly and ended up eating tarmac. Undeterred he was quickly up again and pressing on for the refuge of Santa Ponsa and a warm shower. The return to the villa was downhill along a super smooth dual carriageway before a final lung-busting sprint up to the hill top setting of the Kings Park complex. After showering and changing Paolo volunteered to jet wash all 3 bikes as Rob and Gary rested up for the next day’s ride.

Reinforcements arrived early evening in the form of Jock and family who were staying in a smaller villa on the same complex. With an extra pair of legs a longer ride was planned for the next day.

Friday – Sanctuario de Cura and Arenal (6 hours including café stop)

With the bikes once again gleaming and dry shoes thanks to Tinner baking them in the oven overnight the Lune foursome set off in warm, dry conditions north via Calvia and onwards heading for Santa Maria. On route they encountered a German cyclist scooting along one legged on his bike. With true British manners they stopped and offered assistance. On learning that the poor chap had broken his chain Gary produced a chain extractor tool fully expecting to see a smile appear on the hapless German’s face. Instead he looked even more puzzled and when it was explained to him that this tool would fix his broken chain he exclaimed, “but I have no chain!” Instead of berating him the Lunies took it in turn to push the 18 stone non rider a few kilometres along the road to the refuge of his car.

With the good deed for the day done they passed through Santa Maria and then Santa Eugenia where Jock departed for the villa and some sand castle building. Heading south through Algaida the remaining three amigos approached the destination for the day, the 5km climb up to the Sanctuario de Cura near Randa. As the climb began Tinner decided to assert his authority and rode away from the other two. Half a kilometre later Paolo sensing a kill attacked Gary and he too rode away. Half way up the climb all 3 were passed by a local rider doing intervals and approaching the top Tinner was well clear as Gary desperately big ringed the final 500m to just about catch Paolo by the car park. After a brief sit in the sun it was back down again and south towards Llucmajor.

Skirting around the town where T-Mobile held its team launch a couple of years ago they headed south west towards Arenal and with the benefit of a tail wind Paolo and Tinner blasted it as hard as they could until the road they were on became a motorway. All new Majorcan roads seem to have a small service road running alongside and following this the riders finally descended down to the coast at Arenal, the German equivalent of Magaluf. Here they rode along a cobbled traffic free road with cafes on one side and the beach on the other. The lure of the cafes proved too much and so they stopped for lunch at Playa de Palma.

After enjoying a snack in the warm afternoon sun the three followed the cycle lane along the sea front in Palma. Just as they were about to leave the city Tinner insisted that there was a bike shop in the vicinity which he had to visit. Despite assurances that it was the other side of the city he led the other two back into Palma on a wild goose chase meaning they had to ride along the seafront all over again. Once out of Palma they headed west through Cala Major and onwards towards Palmanova with Paolo riding faster up the climbs than he was doing on the flat much to the annoyance of the other two. Once through Palmanova they found the ‘old road’ had become another new motorway and it was onto another service road before the final run into Santa Ponsa.

There was one more incident to come on the ride as they approached the final roundabout at the entrance to Santa Ponsa. Despite Gary shouting ‘left’ Paolo decided to turn right and gave Gary the old Bruccianni shuffle! After a barrage of abuse the three eventually returned to the villa still in high spirits after 6 hours in the sun.

Saturday – Andratx & Pequera (2 hours)

With an easy morning a shortish recovery ride was planned around lunchtime. Jock once again made the numbers up to 4 as they headed through Calvia but then west through Es Capdella and up the easy shortish climb were Paolo had his mishap two days earlier. Once over the top it is a gradual descent through a charming valley to the roundabout at the top of Andratx. Here the riders had to ride briefly on the main road towards Palma before turning off right (that’s right Paolo!) and dropping down to the small resort of Pequera. Paolo recognised the area from a previous visit and once through the town it was a draggy road that took the riders north back to the crossroads at Es Capdella.

Having completed their loop it was back through Calvia and down into Santa Ponsa. Steering well clear of Paolo Gary swept round the final roundabout at full speed and rode full out for the villa as the other three took a different route through the resort. Determined not to be beaten back to the villa Gary gave up 100% up the smooth main road climb and arrived back at the villa first. Sitting in the sun ready to gloat, ten minutes went past and still the others hadn’t arrived. Deciding he had been duped and knowing Tinners love of cakes it wasn’t hard to drop down into the resort to find him and Paolo sat in a café in the sunshine. With coffees drunk and legs feeling fresh an early start was planned for the following day.

Sunday – Valldemossa and Soller (4 hours)

Having been crucified by Tinner and Paolo on Good Friday Gary decided that Easter Sunday would see his resurrection. An early start was planned to enable a return to the villa in time to watch the Tour of Flanders on TV. The 3 amigos headed out once again through Calvia and over the first drag but then took a left turn towards Piugpunyent. Once on this mainish road Paolo mysteriously upped the pace and led the others to the base of the day’s first real climb in the big ring. Once on the climb north towards Esporles Tinner’s first acceleration saw Paolo engage reverse as Tinner rode furiously up the hairpinned climb with Gary riding steadily in his wake.

Once over the top it was a fast descent to the junction with the Esporles road where the riders turned left and climbed briefly up to the turn off for Valledemossa. Here the road drags steadily upwards before dropping right down into the town itself where the composer Chopin once spent the winter. Taking a left turn before the town the riders found the coast road where Gary hit the gas and battered himself to get a good gap on the other two through the village of Deia and down into the town of Soller. Once back together it was straight onwards towards the highlight of the ride – the newly resurfaced Coll de Soller.

Immediately Paolo attacked (probably due to the effects of another Gel) but the other two easily reeled him in before starting the climb proper at the turn off before the tunnel. On the climb with its constant straight – hairpin – straights Gary rode as hard as he could with Tinner glued to his wheel and try as he might he could not shake off the limpet. At the top he had to console himself with outsprinting his team mate to seal his resurrection however they had put a good few minutes into Paolo. Down the descent and onto the Palma road the lunies rode in team time trial mode as far as Palmanyola before turning right towards Sa Esglaieta then onwards for Esporles.
 
As the road began to rise Paolo stopped going through and it was a sharp left before the town that took the riders back to Establiments. Here the rain briefly returned but once back out of the town and on the climb to Calvia it had stopped as the Lunies called a truce and rode together still overtaking a group of Germans who seemed none too pleased. Somehow Paolo managed to get distanced again and had to chase down the descent leaving himself with no legs to contest the big sprint into Calvia which Tinner won by a wheel from Gary. The return to the villa was steady for once with the riders arriving a good hour later than predicted but still in plenty of time to enjoy Ballan outsprinting  Hoste to win the Ronde. A damn fine day all round!

Monday – rest day

Majorca swapped weather with Britain for Bank Holiday Monday so the Lunies sat out all of the morning and most of the afternoon inside the villa watching Sky TV and eating snacks. Before going stir crazy the 3 amigos headed out late afternoon for a trip to Palma with the main intention of locating Rob’s bike shop, be it closed or not. They sat for an hour at the bus stop waiting for the Palma bus and when it did come it took another hour to get to Palma as it travelled via every resort and housing estate on route. Finally arriving at 6pm and armed with instructions via the UK they headed straight towards Ciclos Blando which was located quite easily – it was of course shut!

Having succeeded in the day’s mission they headed straight for the nearest café and celebrated with coffees and huge slabs of carrot cake. These proved to be the only purchases made as every shop was closed so it was back on the 8pm bus which actually made the return journey in 20mins using the motorway. It was straight off the bus and into a pizzeria to fuel up for a big ride the next day, come rain or shine.

Tuesday – Algaida and Valldemossa (5 hours)

Tuesday broke cloudy but dry as the 4 lunies set off for a change through Magaluf and Palmanova in the direction of Palma. This was to enable Tinner to purchase a pair of matching shorts for his Ciclos Blando top purchased on his last visit to the island. As they passed the magnificent cathedral in the heart of the city the heavens opened so they picked their way through the noon ‘rush hour’ traffic and sort sanctuary in the bike shop. Tinner’s bad luck once again struck as they had sold out of shorts so after a bit of faffing he eventually appeared at the door wearing a new long sleeved top. This proved useful as the rain persisted until the riders had left the city and were on the road to Algaida.

Once again a new road had been built but the service road alongside was a perfect route eastwards, free from traffic and well surfaced. With a head wind and a few drags the going was slightly tough until the group reached the outskirts of Algaida and turned north in the direction of Santa Eugenia. Here the riders were now on signposted cycle routes on back roads and it was big ring stuff all the way through Santa Eugenia and on to Santa Maria. It was then westwards on familiar roads through Palmanyola and onwards to the new roundabout at Sa Esglaieta. Here Jock departed for the villa whilst the 3 amigos headed north for the main road climb to Valledemossa. As the going got tough Paolo eased back and the other two shared the pace setting all the way up to the village where they regrouped before heading south west for another long drag towards Esporles.

Once over the top and down the easy descent to the T junction there was a choice of routes back: hilly coast road, climb over to Puigpunyent on greasy roads or back through Esporles and Establiments as done 2 days previously. With legs already tired the latter route was chosen and the return to the villa was uneventful except for the sprint into Calvia which Gary managed to win this time. Approaching Santa Ponsa Tinner announced that he’d had enough and would be ‘doing his own thing’ on the final day whilst Gary was already planning his final devious route to take in any climbs not yet attempted.

Wednesday – Galilea, Esporles and Andratx (3 hours)

With flights home for the 3 amigos late evening, Wednesday gave the riders their last opportunity to get some more miles in but with Tinner sticking to his word and heading for the bus to Palma it was Jock who became the 3rd amigo. The day broke grey but dry and it was out towards Calvia one last time before heading for the crossroads at Es Capdella. Here the Lunies took a right turn and headed for the climb to the picturesque village of Galilea for the first time this holiday. This 5km climb is ideal for hill training so Gary sped off from the bottom with the thought of Capernwray Road Race coming up on the Sunday in mind. Paolo also rode strongly holding off a fresh Jock and after regrouping at the top the three headed down the descent to the village of Puigpunyent.

Here Jock took the right turn back towards Calvia and although tempted to accompany him Paolo was persuaded to join Gary on the next climb north over towards Esporles. Having been upstaged by Tinner on this climb on the Sunday, Gary and Paolo measured their efforts to arrive at the top with plenty still in their legs for another couple of hours riding. Down the descent then left at the junction the coast road beckoned for a second time, albeit with less wind and blue skies threatening to break through. With a truce called it was steady riding all the way up and down hugging the coastline through the villages of Banyalbufar and Estellencs. The views this day were well worth the effort however once off the coast road and up the drag towards Andratx Paolo started to up the pace slightly in a show of bravado.

Turning left for the slight climb back to Es Capdella Paolo attacked and sped off in the big ring leaving a bemused Gary wondering what was going on. Over the top of the climb Gary fully expected to see Paolo waiting but he was nowhere to be seen forcing Gary to chase him down the dodgy descent, only catching him in the village itself. No words were spoken as the 2 riders headed straight through towards Calvia then on the slight bonk into the final village Gary punished Paolo for disrespecting him by jumping away and nailing it all the way to the Santa Ponsa turn off. On the run in to the resort it was agreed to settle their differences with a good old fashioned duel up the climb to the villa – mano a mano. Paolo put up a good fight attacking out of the last roundabout but could not hold off a charging Gary who caught and passed him on the climb to secure a hollow victory!

Arriving back at the villa for the last time the two were greeted by Jock, Sandra and Emma heading off for the beach. Once showered and changed Paolo and Gary settled down in front of the TV armed with sandwiches and watched the crash fest that was Ghent Wevelgem. Once Roger Hammond and his team mate Marcus Burghardt had worked over Oscar Freire to secure a T-Mobile 1-2 Gary headed down to the beach to inspect Jock’s sand castle building skills and on the way back up bumped into Tinner returning from Palma with a belly full of pastries. The bikes were then packed away for another year as the 3 amigos enjoyed the last rays of sun and early evening they were waved off by a tearful Jock who had to stay behind to make up his missing mileage.

And if you believe all that you’ll believe anything!